Sick's Blog (11)

I haven't blogged on here in a while. I'd like to keep my posts here relevant to what the site's about, but I'm not a person who likes to face his insecurities often. I originally posted this on myspace. Add me on myspace by the way. I'd like to have more people on there and not bands. myspace.com/sick_re. I'm a self-promoting whore. I'm gonna try to be serious in this one. I say try because my nature is to be sarcastic and to put myself down. I'm more of a pessimistic optimist. Down on myself,… Continue

One of my friends recently asked me if I had ever been into self-harm or mutilation as a way of coping with shit. I gave him the same answer that I give to pretty much every question: sort of. I've cut, I've burned, I've intentionally broke bones. It wasn't so that I could have something to distract me, it was more so that I could feel anything. I've pretty much gone numb. I don't really know how or why. I can take a razor to my skin and just saw away without any pain at all. I put my cigarettes… Continue

Nothing new going on so I figured I'd post something I mentioned on myspace. (myspace.com/sick_re) by the way. Shameless self-promotion. Anyway, the only goal I have in life right now is in about six months or so, I'm going to speak to a recruiter to join the United States Marine Corps. Why the Marines? 'Cause in my eyes they are the baddest motherfuckers around, and I would be honored to have served in their ranks. Why six months? I'm not even close to being in good enough shape to survive two… Continue

So, let me give ya some background on the situation at hand. I don't do serious relationships anymore because the first I had I fell in love and was cheated on for no good reason. She said "I couldn't help it. I was drunk." as if that's an excuse. And with a friend of mine no less. The next one I was in lasted for two and a half weeks. I thought "this girl is really cool and what are the odds I'll get fucked over again". Guess what happened. I walk in on her and her ex right in the middle of som… Continue

I am so fucking bored it's unbelievable. I don't have much to do these days. Nobody will fucking hire me and I'm severely low on funds. Not much you can do when you're broke. No joke, my last account statement from my bank said I had $1.52 left in my checking. That's so fucking pathetic. Sorry for the vulgarity, but when I'm bored I ramp up the naughty words. I don't understand the concept of a "bad" word anyway. Not many friends to hang around with either. Most of 'em live in a different county… Continue

This place is great. The idea behind it is fantastic and it's been a great community with friendly people. But as I click through the members page and see all the profiles, I can't help but get a little down about things. There are just so many people on here and it seems like we've all been through or are currently going through some form of abuse. Especially the fact that there are so many female members. Some of those members still being teenagers. It really breaks my heart that we all go thr… Continue

It's been four days since I've used cocaine. I'm gonna try my best to stay clean this time. I've said that before and anyone that knows an addict knows the "this time I mean it" song and dance. I do though. I've tried cleaning up several times. The longest I've gone is two weeks, and that was a month ago. I feel like if I can beat that, I can beat this drug. The withdrawal is already starting to affect me. I can't sleep much, but when I do I have nightmares. I can only get in an hours shut-eye b… Continue

I'll preface the soon to be mentioned thought with what I was thinking about that led me to the conclusions I'm about to mention. I was pondering my current state of unemployment, and really hoping I don't have to go back to construction work. It's not that I didn't love the job, 'cause I did. I was always exhausted at the end of the day, but I felt like I accomplished something. The thing I hated was the people I had to work with. I had to work with either mexican immigrants who barely spoke en… Continue

I guess I haven't really mentioned much about myself on here. I'm pretty open about the person I am, and don't hide my flaws. I said in my first blog that I couldn't understand how the female members couldn't see how beautiful they are when they look in the mirror. Truth is, I kinda get it. I can't look in the mirror for more than a minute without getting hostile and punching my reflection. I've broken too many mirrors to count. It's not a problem with my physical appearance though, so I can't r… Continue

It's kinda weird. Everyone on here is real nice and friendly. I haven't come across one asshole. In the metal community (which I'm assuming makes up the majority of the population on here)there's usually a few douchebags who just have fun trying to tear down other people and pick on them. No ones like that on here. Seems like everyone is nice and cordial and more than happy to have a conversation with you. I could get used to this. Hell, just today I had someone cuss me out 'cause I didn't have… Continue

I just think this community is remarkably useful and has a great message to spread. To think this all started with a song. And it's not done growing. I must say that I'm confused a bit by some of the people on here. It's just that I see the pictures of the female members, and I don't get how any of you could ever look in the mirror and not see beauty. It just baffles me. I can't speak for the guys 'cause I just don't swing that way, but the women are incredible. I don't know what evil force coul… Continue