I am emotionally hurt. Badly.
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Added by Lady Samantha on June 1, 2009 at 12:12pm —
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I am my boyfriend's rock. His stability. He counts on me for that. But is there something wrong if I don't really see him that way, that I don't depend on him so much? I've always seen myself as my own stability.
He's continuosly saying "I miss you so much. My heart hurts..." Am I a bad person if I don't feel that needy towards him? Yes, I love this man dearly and I do miss him, but my heart isn't aching and I'm still capable of caring out everyday tasks perfectly fine.
Am I just violently ind…
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Added by Lady Samantha on May 20, 2009 at 1:25pm —
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... because strange things just like to happen to me. I swear that not only do I have a sign on my forehead that only men can see that states "Psycho boyfriend auditions all year round" I must also be wearing a neon t-shirt declaring "Send me weird messages in any type of written form!". Grrrr!
So, let us recap over the day's events, shall we?
I was assulted multiple times by two entirely different umbrellas. One even knocked off my lovely hat into a puddle. Not too thrilled at that. Said umbr…
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Added by Lady Samantha on April 19, 2009 at 8:52pm —
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I miss him because I adore & care for him. He made me happy.
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Added by Lady Samantha on March 31, 2009 at 8:30pm —
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Of all things that turn up in a book that I buy (it was a Paulo Coelho book, by the way) I end up finding piece of paper that reads:
"Your Mind Has No Boundaries
The connecting link between you and the infinite is your mind. the Ancient Mystery Schools provided guidance to the initiate leading from the base of the mountain to the summit. At the base of the mountain, we are subjected to the forces of Nature. At the summit, we are the Master of these forces. Our order in the true and authentic tr…
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Added by Lady Samantha on March 31, 2009 at 10:41am —
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I read your thoughts
I know what is in your heart
And I don't even have to ask
We don't even have to meet
I can feel what you feel
Right this moment
Just as your heart is beating
And I imagine you in my mind
And I can feel you next to me
As our eyes meet for the first time.
Feel free to discuss & add comments!
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Added by Lady Samantha on March 30, 2009 at 8:49pm —
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I am Revolution
I shall not listen to what you tell me I can do
I will do what I cannot
I am not a follower
I am not a leader
What drugs I use should not matter to you
What you think will be lost
I am not afraid to show my body
And I am still virginal
I embrace those mistakes of my past
And I will cherish my bad decisions that have not been made yet
I shall pray to God
And I’m not afraid to steal your breath
I am not who I thought I’d be
And I never will be
I am not special
Nor will I ever be
I…
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Added by Lady Samantha on March 29, 2009 at 10:00am —
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Started talking to this amazing guy this week & we finally met just earlier. We hit if off so extremely well before we met in person & then I just put my guard up when we finally did meet. I feel rejected by the way he acted towards me after a while since he kept insisting after the first hour that we were complete opposites & that I wouldn't like him. And now I am freakishly high off pain killers. I didn't mean to do it, but it just happened. I forgot how wonderful it felt.
I feel…
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Added by Lady Samantha on March 28, 2009 at 10:49pm —
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Part of a paper on chivalry that I wrote. Comments?
Feminism and chivalry. What exactly do feminist think about chivalry? I’ve ready many articles and it seems like most feminists don’t like it when men wait for them to pass through the door they are holding yet are offended when men don’t casually hold it open while passing through it. Eventually, my search for articles led me to a rather intriguing one. One called The Princeton that stated, “It tries to harness men's energy and direct it away…
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Added by Lady Samantha on March 23, 2009 at 3:46pm —
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This journal is kind of selfish in a way. Sorry! I just don't receive much attention, unlike on here (which I adore you all for paying attention to me!!!). I know, I'm pitiful.
Anyway, my birthday is next Thursday (March 12th). I'm going to be 19! That gives me only one more year of using the teenager excuse everytime I do something dumb, crazy, &/or childish.
I'm not expecting much for my birthday, material wise. (Although it would be awesome if a few people wished me a happy birthday on…
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Added by Lady Samantha on March 6, 2009 at 9:00am —
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For all those that are unaware, I live in a dorm at ISU. Half the girls on my floor use the same bathroom as I do. On to our story!
So, I was in the bathroom just yesterday cleaning my makeup brushes and contact case while another girl is in the shower stall. After a moment I hear those infamous chimes that cry out to let the owner know that they have a text. I hear in-going & out-going messages & then they stop. She turns on the water & is in there for a few minutes before the chim…
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Added by Lady Samantha on March 6, 2009 at 6:42am —
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Ok, ladies. I pose a question towards you (I also appreciate comments from guys about this matter, too): Do you need to wear make-up?
Actually I have several questions that branch off of this. Does it make you feel more beautiful? Do you feel like you have to wear some to catch a guy & keep him hooked? Or do you believe that going more natural is better? And the last question: Do you wear more make-up when you're single or dating/in a relationship?
Please comment! I'm really curious about…
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Added by Lady Samantha on February 26, 2009 at 3:42pm —
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A Nightmare Of Madness by S.L. Reno
The screaming is so loud, my ears are bleeding. The scene is so horrid, my eyes are burning. The metallic stench of my own blood makes me sick…
Please, stop yelling! I can’t stand it anymore! I need to escape find an exit, get out of here!…
Help. I need help. Somebody save me from this strangeness! Help me flee my own mind…
My skin is ice cold, but the room is on fire. The flames are blue & silver. They lick my skin, making me even more frozen than I a…
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Added by Lady Samantha on February 8, 2009 at 11:30am —
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by S.L. Reno
Hazy light engulfs my skin,
And the real world is sleeping in.
To say hello again.
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Added by Lady Samantha on February 8, 2009 at 11:30am —
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Smooth porcelain skin
Hair knotted in disarray
Dress torn and tattered
Her stockings still intact
Eyes dull from seeing creatures that truly aren’t there
From glaring at those that come to gawk at her kind
Those poor young girls kept captive and set on display
Aren’t they so strange?
So oddly beautiful in their own way?
And how wicked are those unsympathisizing that come to tour their home
She is one of the few that actually belong there
Most of them only there as a horrid punishment just for fe…
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Added by Lady Samantha on October 23, 2008 at 9:30pm —
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“Do it…”
That little voice tells you
“What harm could it do? It just a few pills…”
It encourages you
It refuses to leave you alone
“They’ll make the pain go away. Go ahead. It’s good for you…”
I take them
It lied
Part of my pain has disappeared
“Then why don’t you take more? It couldn’t hurt…”
And stupidity takes over
Another half a handful of pills slides smoothly down
Why is it so uncontrollable?
Like your life is not your own anymore
At least your body feels numb
Your mind is slowed
You feel…
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Added by Lady Samantha on October 22, 2008 at 10:44am —
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Tiny mirrors reflect light onto her skin
Soft breezes caress her face
As the Morning Glories begin to hide
Reality shall pass me by today.
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Added by Lady Samantha on October 13, 2008 at 7:22pm —
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Wow. I just realized how long that I've been away from here. It must seem like I just fell off the side of the earth. Sorry everyone! I've been a very, very busy girl. Mid-term exams, playing excerpts from a Sonata by Vivaldi that I've been working on for the past month, playing the first orchestral concert of the school year, helping a friend through a semi-messy break-up... My head is still reeling!
But never fear, for I am back & shall plague you all with random messages filled with nons…
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Added by Lady Samantha on October 13, 2008 at 7:00pm —
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All that I AM by S.L. Reno
I am mentally unstable
I am not property
I am open minded
I am not your sex toy
I am stubborn
I am not going to be told what to do
I am free
I am not your angel
I am strange
I am not giving in to weakness
I am a woman
I am not your key to salvation
I am difficult to deal with
I am not a child
I am surprisingly optimistic
I am not going to be abused again
I am a human being
I am not normal
I am a friend
I am not yours
I am a survivor
I am not a victim
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Added by Lady Samantha on September 18, 2008 at 10:30am —
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Not Yours by S.L. Reno
You will not hurt me
You will not have power over me
‘Cause I don’t fucking care
You hold no sway over me
I will not swoon over you
I will not stay for you
I am restless
I cannot settle down
I was born a wild child
I will never be yours
I belong to no one
So go find yourself some easily lovestruck shallow girl
Maybe she can give you all that you demand
For you shall never be happy with me
So why do you insist that I am what you want?
This was written after I broke up wi…
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Added by Lady Samantha on September 15, 2008 at 7:30pm —
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