Your poetry

[Charlotte Tracey]

I figured that some, if not most, people on here write a bit of their own poetry. I thought it would be fun to share some with everyone here. If you do write please post some of your work. If you love it brag about it, if you think it needs work then say so (maybe someone can give you a few tips).

Broken

I am broken
my paint is chipped
my strings are in knots
my dress is torn

The puppeteer is angry
because I can't follow
the commands he is yelling
Why are you so rough with me?

Why break me?
I do what you say
I do as you ask
So why me?

Choose another puppet
Make them do something
for once in their life
And leave me alone

I need to be fixed
I need fresh paint
I need new string
I need a new dress

I don't have time
to heal and be fixed
because you keep me so broken
and play so rough



Let me know what you think?

[Charlotte Tracey]

I like those. Mostly the last one.

[Jane Doe]

oh, thanks, it started out as Reject/Remix/Repent/Respect/Inject/Insect, and those kept rolling around my head, so I wrote them down, edited and added to them

[Charlotte Tracey]

very good. That's how some of the best works get done. ^_^

[Revai]

Looking for constructive criticism and opinions here.
Please don't be too harsh. T^T


With every hour that passes my life grows more grim.
It seems this insatiable lust for what I need shall never be fulfilled.
My thoughts leak from my head and splatter onto the canvas I call life.
Articulate, meaningful, useless.
The things that run through my mind on a daily basis only seem the outcall the feeling in my stomach.
Never will the concepts in my mind match my urge to do what I want to...
Meaningless words are spoken to me daily.
What to beleive, and what not to beleive, is a perplexing inquiry.
Constantly I question who is lying to me.
As of now, noone is truthful with me, to my knowlege.
These lies are tearing me apart, and my futile struggle seems to take me nowhere.
I grow sick of dealing with lies from incinscere people.
My being slowly darkens with every word another utters to me.
Ever lasting lies fly effortlessly through my mind as I question my existance.
Each lie, each and every single word, I question.
Lies, lies, and more lies.
Inamiable sub meanings are painted on the words people sling into my mind.
As of late, my thought process has been obscured by the act of slowly losing myself.
I can't tell who I am anymore, although I'm not sure I'd like to know.

[Charlotte Tracey]

I really like it. It's well written, and it's something everyone can relate too.

[Revai]

Thank you. >w<</body>

[Jane Doe]

Open my sewn eyes
Free me from the lies
Love is just a punishment
under the freedom of disguise

Something I just thought up, typed it before I lost it, so not much editing

[Charlotte Tracey]

I don't quite get the "freedom of disguise", but I like it.

[Jane Doe]

yeah, it just sounded good at the time (It still sorta does), but like I said, no real editing

Thanks

[Charlotte Tracey]

it's no big deal. Nothing on here is for professional writing, it's just for fun.

[a muse mental]

I may revise this later...

The Answer

Sing me a song, chameleon.
Seven grams of fate
or choice,
Float in my window
My heart aches unto a seamless spirit.
An ethereal mist is woven
Upon the loom of lies.
Whisper sweet words through succulent lips
Enchanted by silver lining.
Did our souls dance under the moonlight?
Just once, speak words of truth.

[Charlotte Tracey]

very nice, I love the mystic feel to it.