Im In Desprate Need Of Some Advice

[Kathryn]

Im suffering from quiet a few mental problems and i dont no what to do any more.The biggest thing im haveing a problem with is for about 2 weeks i was terribley depressed and suicidal and the next week i was happy and trying to better myself and my mood beggining changeing between these two for a while edventually becoming more fruquent in time and more intense in the fealings.It got to the point where i was mood shifting every 45 minutes and i couldnt tell what was going on around me.All these fealing abrubtly came to a hualt a week ago when my friend commited suicide for some reason,so right now its not my main concern but i no it will come back,it always does.Im am terribley OCD,Im twitching,i cant tell my dreams from reality half the time,and the worst part is im becomeing so horrible pariniod im afraid to think certain thoughts because im afraid some how they will excape my head.What i need advice on is ive been in therapy for quiet a while and talking doesnt help any of these problems.They've always gave me a choice in the past of takeing meds or not...Before i didnt wanna take them because i felt it would make me be considerd"crazy".Now my parinioa is makeing me beleve the pills will take me over,that its a conspiracy,there gonna take me over and kill the person i used to be,But at this point i have to do something or i might get hurt,talking doesnt help,but pills are my last option.i dont wanna take pills but its my only option isnt it?

[valerie artinger]

well im not a doctor but i can lend you my advice and offer my knowledge in this dept. first off ill say i disagree with therapy. note this is just my opinion, some people find it to be helpful, i did not. instead of listening the man tried to spin shit around on me and make me feel nuts. i believe if you have one person even that you know you can trust your life with, that one person who you know will never ever judge you, open up to him/her. i found that just throwing my tragedies out there for my very few trusted people to hear made a big difference. knowing what i faced as a child and as a teen they kinda see why i am the way i am. i do know how it feels to think your life is unnecessary and nobody cares and you really just wanna end your life now before it gets any worse. i have been on that boat. i also know that meds dont always help. i took two diff antidepressants which worsened my condition and xanax which was about as effective as poppin skittles all day. and when i say they worsened i mean it oh my! i literally got out of my car at a red light and threatened to kick a girls ass for honking at me. thats not me. i so dont do that. so i eventually decided to nix the pills and really focused on who i was. what made me happy? what distracted me from these feelings? well, i used to cut myself. i have 32 visible scars and more that have faded. i tried drinking and using people... it didnt help either instead i felt worse... then i found the real things that made me happy and now i keep myself focused on that. for others i understand its not so easy. i have a friend with bipolar 2 who cannot take meds anymore cuz they make her ill. so she is stuck with extensive therapy. my advice to you is to try all other options before relyin on medication. (most docs wont give you any until at least 18 due to brain function and development) try to focus on the things that make you feel happy. for me it was writing my thots down, doing hair, hanging out with the ones that loved me... small things really do matter. maybe try a new therapist. try sleeping more, sleep is very important. you also could try being observed in an institute. sounds drastic but whats more important? your future which is so wide open and ready to be lived or the superficial judgements of those who dont get it??? and dont let anybody tell you your crazy cuz until they have been in shoes like mine or yours or anyone elses their words dont mean shit. we know who we are. we are not and never will be crazy. just lost wounded souls ready to kick some ass and survive what we are going thru, have been thru and the troubles that lie ahead. life aint fun unless its hard. ok im done ranting now. good luck tho honestly.

[Kathryn]

Just fyi ppls,Just got back from the psyc ward,im on pills,i hate them all ready,i need them all ready...theyve courupted my brain,they made me need them.....fml.

[Charlotte Tracey]

hopefully they help. I wish you luck. Just make sure you let your doctors know if you notice any changes with yourself, health-wise or mentally, anything that makes you uncomfortable. The more they know the better then can help. And who knows, maybe you won't need them after a while.

[Marianne Wittich]

perturbation and insane thoughts have a reason behind ... The first step is to find the cause for this situation complicated and tortuous.
I use soothing daily, because I am very anxious and nervous ... but this is a result of the ambience around me, negative influences always want to lay you down (friends, parents, relatives), but try to do our best to avoid these paranoid thoughts, do something to release you and give you pleasure and freedom. In my case, I found the music to help me to release everything that I was feeling; fear, pain, anger, anguish…. A little of love in your life will help you a lot, find someone who cares about you, who loves you the way you are and allows you moments that make you grow and see everything more beautiful and colorful.
remember: all this is a process of life, sooner or later everything comes to an end, not the morbid way, but in a way that makes you see your past and make you change…

[Heather]

Just a quick suggestion. I dont know how long you have been going through this or how old you are but I have a girlfriend that went through alot of the same stuff you are writing about and after years of medication that led to other meds and to other she spoke to her OBGYN and found that she was put on birth control at a young age and it jacked up her hormones she got off the birth control and within weeks she was a new person. This might be irrelevent to your situation but incase it wasnt I thought I would share. Also chemical imballances are real and real dangerous so if the above dosent fit you. Take the meds, Keep talking about the thoughts and feelings the sickness only manifests in the dark and can be drowned by the light.

[Mr Monster]

REALLY LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!
I am NOT here typing this for myself. I am reaching out to YOU.

Therapy at such a young age only causes you to seclude yourself further from help. The belief that you need help from somebody else pushes you further away from being able to cope on your own. The people around you telling you to seek mental help are implementing the idea that you might be crazy or insane but you aren't. You're young, you're confused. You don't know who you are or what is going on around you. You have hormones rushing through your bloodstream every nanosecond twisting and contorting the body and mind you've thought was your own for the past 12-15 years and now you've become disoriented. Let's break what you have said down to smaller bits so we can digest this properly.

"Im suffering from quiet a few mental problems and i dont no what to do any more.The biggest thing im haveing a problem with is for about 2 weeks i was terribley depressed and suicidal and the next week i was happy and trying to better myself and my mood beggining changeing between these two for a while edventually becoming more fruquent in time and more intense in the fealings.It got to the point where i was mood shifting every 45 minutes and i couldnt tell what was going on around me."

You're not suffering through mental problems. You're suffering through problems, as everybody else has at one point in their life, only each person takes their own path a different way. It affects us all in unique patterns and that, in the end, helps us define who we are as people. You do know what to do, but you don't choose to acknowledge that you have to calm down and think over what you're experiencing. You have to set your emotions aside and critically adjust where your mind is at. When you fall into fits of intense emotion it clouds the logical part of your conscious mind and you perceive things differently. Things that might not be there, or be real, and when those situations arise it's best to sit down in a place you find comfortable. Your bed under your covers, a closet, a bathroom at school in one of the stalls with the door closed and locked, ANYWHERE you can relax and think clearly about what is happening, and clear your mind. Release your emotions and logically think through what is happening to you instead of jumping to conclusions in an uncontrolled emotional state that will lead you only to unhappiness. Practice retaining self control, and when you lose control find a place where you can be alone and regain control of your emotions. Never let your emotions and thoughts control you.

"All these fealing abrubtly came to a hualt a week ago when my friend commited suicide for some reason,so right now its not my main concern but i no it will come back,it always does.Im am terribley OCD,Im twitching,i cant tell my dreams from reality half the time,and the worst part is im becomeing so horrible pariniod im afraid to think certain thoughts because im afraid some how they will excape my head."

The reason those feelings stopped when your friend committed suicide is because you were in shock. The shock one feels at the loss of a friend pushes all other emotion out of the way and you, for a blind moment or for weeks, see clearly, but DO NOT fall back on this. It is a terrible loss, and is incredibly sad, but what they did was not right. And just because they did it doesn't mean you should. You are you, your own being. A unique creature birthed and raised and are experiencing the same problems everybody does in their own ways. Those who commit suicide or attempt such are seeking the most negative end to their problems deluded by the idea that it will never end. But it all will, have hope and confidence in who you are. Confidence in the love you have to give and the control you have over your future.

Paranoia and OCD are commonplace when you're growing up. Your body and mind is changing in a way that YOU can't control, so to compensate you try to take control of everything around you and when you can't you break down. You have to realize that things are going to change. The world is going to keep spinning whether you like it or not and it is in out nature as human beings and unique people to adapt to what our bodies and the world throw at us. What makes you a better person is being able to THRIVE. Be the rose that grows from concrete. Fight past your problems and see the light of your own heart.

"What i need advice on is ive been in therapy for quiet a while and talking doesnt help any of these problems.They've always gave me a choice in the past of takeing meds or not...Before i didnt wanna take them because i felt it would make me be considerd"crazy".Now my parinioa is makeing me beleve the pills will take me over,that its a conspiracy,there gonna take me over and kill the person i used to be,But at this point i have to do something or i might get hurt,talking doesnt help,but pills are my last option.i dont wanna take pills but its my only option isnt it?"

The pills ARE NOT an option. They are an easy way of the NATURAL process you are finding yourself troubling the get though. You are not crazy, paranoid, or OCD. You are changing and having a hard time adjusting to the changes in your life because you cannot control your thoughts and your emotions. Talking will never help until you realize that you're the only person with control of yourself. Pills will CHANGE who you are and force you into complacency but you will never truely be at peace until you are able to redeem control of yourself. "I am the master of my destiny." To allow somebody else to tell you who you are is the madness in life. You have to take the reigns of your life and hold fast to them because if you don't you are going to lose. Lose yourself and lose your future.

It's amazing what the human body and mind can adapt to. You're in the middle of a hurricane of change. Right here... right now, reading this you've breached the eye and gained the knowledge making it possible for you to take back control of your life. Are you going to fall back into the chaotic flow of emotions and thoughts that got you here in the first place, reaching out for help to people you may never know..

Or will you adapt.

[Kathryn]

Well just a little update ppls,i went in the hospital,they put me on pillz,i started feeling better,i got out,cut myself up,went back in.came out cut myself up again,they tried to put me back in but i wouldnt go,my mom put me on restrictions i have barely any rights and am on constamnt watch.But the pillz r helping alot,not with cutting but with my suicidal thoughts which(given the suicide of my to other frineds just in the last month)have increased alot.so yeah....pillz help,i still tink its a consperacy but yeah.....w/e,thank u's for all the adivice it helps more then u could ever no,if i dont respond to what u write itz cuz im back in the hospital,ill keep u's updated.....