Imperfections Make You Unique.

Im In Desprate Need Of Some Advice

Im suffering from quiet a few mental problems and i dont no what to do any more.The biggest thing im haveing a problem with is for about 2 weeks i was terribley depressed and suicidal and the next week i was happy and trying to better myself and my mood beggining changeing between these two for a while edventually becoming more fruquent in time and more intense in the fealings.It got to the point where i was mood shifting every 45 minutes and i couldnt tell what was going on around me.All these fealing abrubtly came to a hualt a week ago when my friend commited suicide for some reason,so right now its not my main concern but i no it will come back,it always does.Im am terribley OCD,Im twitching,i cant tell my dreams from reality half the time,and the worst part is im becomeing so horrible pariniod im afraid to think certain thoughts because im afraid some how they will excape my head.What i need advice on is ive been in therapy for quiet a while and talking doesnt help any of these problems.They've always gave me a choice in the past of takeing meds or not...Before i didnt wanna take them because i felt it would make me be considerd"crazy".Now my parinioa is makeing me beleve the pills will take me over,that its a conspiracy,there gonna take me over and kill the person i used to be,But at this point i have to do something or i might get hurt,talking doesnt help,but pills are my last option.i dont wanna take pills but its my only option isnt it?

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Permalink Reply by Undead_Caveman on August 25, 2009 at 9:33pm: I do not believe it is your last option. If you do not want to take them you can always try and continue to fight the emotions. The thing about people considering you crazy if you did decide to take the pills is irrelevant. You do not have to tell anyone. I was on meds for 4 years and only two people knew and that was because I told them. You have to decide whats best for you. If the pills are best then go for it. Screw what anyone says about you. You have to survive yourself to prove them all wrong. see there is nothing terribly wrong with what your feeling. Feelings cant be stopped from entering your brain. I honestly believe that if your loosing yourself this bad than the pills are not going to make it much worse so they can only make it better or not do anything. I honestly think that it would be a wise idea to try the pills. you still have your sanity and a somewhat stable frame of mind if you can admit all this. try and save yourself before you loose to much of yourself.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kathryn on August 26, 2009 at 12:50pm: Ive been tryin to fight the emotions and its phisaclly eghsuasting me,i cant do it any more thats y im considering this,And i DO NOT give to shits or a fuck what people think about me.Im talking back when i thought it would mean im crazy i was around 12 years old(im 15 now) and i didnt like thinking i was crazy.i was judgeing myself on it...and ya i think i might try te pills but im still not sure...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by evilpuke on August 26, 2009 at 10:51am: I know its not quite the answer your looking but have you tried changing your diet to. The healthier you eat the better you can think. Cut the sodas fast food, any think you know to be crap food. I'm not saying it will make you better but might make a little bit of a difference.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kathryn on August 26, 2009 at 12:51pm: I only eat fast food like once every two months and besides that i drink water and eat vegtables all day besides dinner time.i really do not understand why i am so fat...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Charlotte Tracey on August 28, 2009 at 9:37am: My friends and I think we may have actually found the answer to that...we think about these kinds of things all the time. You just need to go back to basic nature. Don't worry about how much you eat, in fact the more you eat the better (to a point of course). If you eat several small meals a day you're metabolism speeds up and burns more fat. The human body was originally designed to eat about ten small meals a day, so when society decided on 2-3 large meals a day (some hundred years ago) they messed with nature. With less meals the body isn't working as much then when people ate more meals. Personally I eat like a pig, and I weight just over 120lbs. But that's because I eat about several small meals through out the day. Also, regular exercise is of course important. You don't need to go to a gym or do weird work outs. Just go for a walk. Walking is actually the best way to lose weight. That's another thing society has ruined for people. Humans used to walk tens of miles a day, now with cars and public transportation we barely walk at all.

Basically if you eat several small meals throughout the day and go for a walk whenever you get a chance you should lose weight. Walks are also good for clearing your head. What's really nice is going to a walk around town at 2-3 o'clock in the morning. It's so quite and peaceful.

Sorry, as you can tell, I like to rant a bit. -_-' I hope I've been at least somewhat helpful though.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Holli Carlson on August 27, 2009 at 11:06pm: its not ur last option..i had similar problems where i thought i was going insane i was seeing cats turn into snakes and i wasnt doing drugs at the time but i was seeing alot of crazy shit. i told my mom and she put me in therapy the lady obviously thought i was a nut she prescribed me pills called zoloft and i thought the same way u do about them pills and i hated them..they mellowed me out, made me feel like a zombie. so i quit taking them. my mood changing stopped i was having suicidal thoughts but i started writing everything down and the moods stopped. so maybe try writing poetry or just writing could help.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Charlotte Tracey on August 28, 2009 at 9:19am: Just from what you're saying it seems like bipolar disorder, in which case you would need to take medication. Bipolar disorder basically makes you have those mood-swings. You can go from extremely happy to extremely depressed with no middle ground. The medication basically just creates that middle ground. I would talk to your therapist about it. If I am right it is very important that you do take the medications. Bipolar disorder can be harmful to yourself and to others if ignored. I've known four people with the disorder, and none of them liked taking their medications. Three of them became abusive, the other was just very eccentric does a lot of stupid stuff that is going to land him in a lot of trouble one day. Again, if I am right then you will have to take medications, but don't worry about it too much. The people I knew almost never took it. It's not one of those things that if you miss it once or twice is going to cause a whole big issues. The medications just calm you down a bit. If something happens that would make you angry, you'd still angry, but you wouldn't overreact. Same goes for most other emotions, they're all still there, but the volume is just turned down a bit.

Now, I'm 100% sure on this. I'm not an expert, and I'm just going off what you've said here. But it couldn't hurt to talk to your therapist about it.

Since you are fifteen a lot of people would be hesitant about diagnosing you with anything. Just make sure you're as honest and straight forward with your feels as you can be to your therapist. Just be careful, at your age their is risk of misdiagnosing, just because people are being to cautious. When or if you are prescribed a medication make sure you look into it and see what it is, what it does, and how it will effect you and make sure you talk to your therapist or doctor about it. I don't want to scare you with that, but I think it's important for you to know how it goes sometimes. You should trust your therapist, but they make their judgments based on what you say to them. So, if you're feeling something let them know, and if you have questions then ask them.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kathryn on August 28, 2009 at 11:50am: Well just a little update for everyone.I mentioned my freinds suicide,It was on august the 17th.Last night my friend who blamed himself for her death killed himself.Unlike with jessi who i only knew for about a month,Matt i knew for over 5 years,I lost my virginity to him,I did many things for the first time with him,So many memories looped up in the whole thing.On top of all these mental things now i have to deal with this.I meet with my therapist on monday im gonna ask him to commit me so i can take a little break,Im not sure how much its gonna help cuz all ill be doing is worrying about my school work,But i just need some time to myself,So if i dont respond for a few days,Thats why.....; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kathryn on August 30, 2009 at 5:06pm: Found out he's not dead(stupid lieing bitches) but he is on life soppuot and may be toooken off soon,tis not lookin good...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by evilpuke on August 30, 2009 at 5:12pm: Don't want to sound like a dick or something, or kick you when your down, but it seriously seems like you need new friends.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kathryn on August 30, 2009 at 5:15pm: I have my best frined kayla,I had a frined named brandon but kayla and my brother didnt like him,Then i have my 2 ex's who are frinedly with me,besides that i dont have frineds,at least all the suicidal ones r gone should be smooth sailing from now on.And if i could make more frineds i would,its not easy in the highschool inviroment you know?; ▶ Reply to This