coming out to homophobic parentals...

[Rebell]

i came out to my bro today. over facebook. he seemed okay with it. a bit shocked maybe. i asked him when a good time wud be for the parentals. im planning to tell them all three at once. that way the fire and the bromstone only falls once. plus if it gets physical i can just turn them all against each other and walk away. dont have to see them again.

i feel kinda weird about it. i dont live with them. and i never had a relationship with them. but i feel i gotta just be honest and tell them even if i know they hate gay people. and they hate who i am. and each other. (so much hate thanks thanks to religion) so im a bit confused. and at the same time.. i just gotta get it out there. be honest.

anyone got any advice? similar stories etc?

[Charlotte Tracey]

Afraid I can't give much advice on this subject. Good luck, to the both of you. I know it's hard, and I really wish people wouldn't let there religion get in the way of their family like it does with this subject. Hope you're families are accepting.

[Leigh]

Really I suppose the only thing to do it just let it out. Like you said if they start to lash out get the hell out of there, but really that's the only way to do it. My ex-girlfriend's parents and her sister cannot stand her at all because she's gay and if they weren't tyrants they'd probably kick her out of the house. Since you don't live with them it might not be easier but it'll have some less harsh consequenses.

But yeah, I say you just drop it, if they don't take it in well try to make them realize how much it took to tell them.

[Christina faith]

i came out to my parents about a year or 2 ago and well there is not much you can do other than spit it out i mean you cant hide or change who you are..they should love you for you and i understand that religion deffinately can make it hard because both my parents are relgious and when i told my mom these are her words "you are disgusting i dont want to even look at you, you are going to hell, its not gods way" and well to be honest with you yes i cried it about killed me but you know i had to just be like look they will eventually get over it they are not going to abandon me because of my sexual preference they cant hate me forever...and now both my parents are okay with it they arent thrilled but they are dealing with it..im never like all over my partner or what not im very respectful with the whole thing but i do and will love who i love no matter what im the only one who has a say in it...if you are extremely paranoid about telling the parentals then wait till your 18 and then telll them or just go about ur own business and if they find out then so be it...i wouldnt stess to much on it though everything will work its way out it always does in one way or another...good luck hope i was somewhat of a help.

[Rebell]

thanks guys :) i called both parentals on friday. woohooo!!!

[Leigh]

Oh yeah? How did that work out?

[Rebell]

parently someone beat me to it 2 days before. they left my mum a few voice and txt msges. pretty much just abusing her for being a homophobe. that kinda blew my mind when my mum told me. i think she's in shock. it really didn't sink in. most of the conversation was just me trying to get information out of her bout who called. my dad just hung up on me.

[Leigh]

Oh wow...that's uhm, curious. Did you ever find out?

[Rebell]

it sure is... the mystery remains. only 3 of my mates have her number. 2 of which are scared of her. and the other one havent met her in person i just can't see it happening but im getting a bit suspicious... i really wanna know.

[Debbie]

Well im a mother of a Bi ... My daughter be came a lesbain at the age of 13 she didnt tell me that she was lesban i aleady knew but i didnt say anything to her about me knowing .. I wanted her to tell me when she was ready So at the age of 16 she finely told me and she cried .. She tought that i would be upset with her but as she found out that i still loved her and i was ok with it cause its her life and she has to be the one to know what she really wants in her life ..... She is now 20 but with a guy and at times she will have her fun with a woman .... Ive just in the past 2 years outed myself that im Bi Curious and my family dont like it but oh well its my life not theres ... I still love my family but im going to do as i want ... I dont know if i have helped by telling my story but i hope i have ...

[Reneaux Ruffin]

Wellll, the only thing you can do is tell em. I mean yeah, everyone's said it, either they'll accept it or they won't. I do hate the fact that people use religion as an excuse to push oppression and hate. I am also a Christian, and ya know what? Tee hee I love ya. And quite frankly i look at it like this. God(well my God anyways not sure about the mean people's God *smile*) is the ultimate entity of love, compassion, caring, and forgiveness. He wouldn't abandon anyone, i mean if we mere mortals, us perfectly flawed humans are capable of forgiveness and tolerance what on God's beloved green Earth would possess anyone to believe that the perfect almighty loving God has a problem with something that most humans don't have a problem with. Haha I'm rambling, but in short i wish you good luck and God does love you Buhlieve it.

[Emanon]

I know how that is. I lived with my grandma up until late april(I think it was) She's one of those crazy bible thumpers that tell you anyone gay, goth, emo, punk, unique, or anything else that they're going to hell. I'm a lesbian, I didn't come out until after I attempted suicide and I only admitted it because there was no point in denying it any further because she already hated me for embarrassing her. The result was she finally kicked me out of her house and disowned me... But I'm not going to complain, the way I see it is that it's her loss not mine, and now I can be who I am without getting the "You're Going TO Hell" lecture.